Sunday, July 15, 2012

Composure [five sentence fiction]

Once again I take some time to write for Lillie McFerrin's Five Sentence Fiction.
I hope you'll take time to read the other entries.

COMPOSURE

His palms were sweating, his pulse was racing, his stomach was jumping and he was sure he was going to vomit.

He started counting silently, knowing the time was close, then changed to whistling a simple tune.

He hadn't realized it would feel like this; no one had warned him, not his parents, nor his pastor or even his best friend.

He slowly put one foot in front of the other, taking in huge gulps of fresh air, feeling like each one was his last.

A knock, the door opened, he held out the almost wilted flowers to the most beautiful girl he had ever seen, his prom date.


10 comments:

  1. That panic before a first date...nicely put Donna!

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  2. Oh, nice! I think we've all gone through something similar...lovely writing :)

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  3. A snappy bit of life, here. I love the opening paragraph. It's so visceral!

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  4. This is wonderful! My heart went out to the sweet young lad. Great job with the prompt.

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  5. Thanks for visiting and commenting, everyone!

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  6. Donna, I just LOVED this...so well-written, and feel-good!

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  7. Awww! Couldn't help warming to him. Lovely.

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  8. I could feel the inner turmoil in the opening sentence.
    And I loved the feel-good moment at the end of the piece!

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  9. Thanks again for visiting, reading and commenting!!

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  10. Ah... I remember that moment well. You really capture how it felt, the weight of it, the moments of doubt, & the payoff when that door finally opens.

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