Sunday, October 1, 2017

WEP Oct 2017: DARK PLACES


Physical or psychological.
It’s Halloween.
This has any number of possibilities!
Let your imagination run riot!


This little piece of flash fiction was featured as part of the May 2012 National Flash Flood. It's darker than my normal writing and I thought this month's WEP challenge was a good time to share it again. Below is my entry consisting of a mere 388 words, NCCO (no critique, comment only please).


The Taxi Ride

"I hate night shift, gives me heebie-jeebies," I whispered, looking in the rearview mirror at my latest passenger. "So where can I take you tonight?"

"The Pit," a voice rumbled from the back.

"The Pit, huh. I hear stuff about that place."

He grunted.

"All kinds of weird things. People go in and freaks come out."

"Don't believe what you hear, believe what you see."

"Well, I'd rather not see those kinda things." I sought his face but it was obscured by his hood.

The Pit was an old mansion about 10 miles outside the city. For the last dozen years, it had become a gathering spot for the fringes of society. Kids conforming in their nonconformity for the most part but it was the elders who gave me the creeps; tonight's passenger was one.

I slowed as I approached the gate. "Um, I usually stop at the gate." My voice betrayed me and I shook with fear.

"Drive!" 

I hesitated, "Okay. But I'm stopping on the other side of the gate."

"Keep driving." 

A shiver ran up my spine and ended with a tingling at the base of my skull as I passed through the gate, "It's a higher fare..."

"Just drive," he boomed.

"Yeah, okay." The mansion hovered in the mist that suddenly appeared. Lit only by candlelight strange shadows danced on the walls inside. I shuddered, whispering, "Could this place get any creepier?" 

He paid his fare, slid out of the cab and glided towards the house. 

"Thanks. Have a good evening," I shouted as I spun the taxi around and raced toward the gate. Strange laughter erupted behind me and I looked in the rear view mirror. 

Slamming the brakes, I screamed. 

The face in the mirror wasn't mine and it wasn't human.

His words echoed back, "Believe what you see."






19 comments:

  1. A wonderful treat for Halloween and the WEP Dark Places Challenge!
    Love it, beware the freak from within!
    Thanks, D B for participating!

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  2. Love it. I will be even more careful to avoid mirros today...

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  3. Oh-oh! A real "Halloween" story. And it's fitting the theme wonderfully.

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  4. Pretty dark place to get to. Thanks for a great read.

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  5. Two face one might say
    is it realy me you see
    or something dark
    from with in my soul
    now free to make me whole
    now the true me I see

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  6. An engaging tale that speaks out a warning. Sometimes it's better to pass up on a passenger than to take him to a place that you have reservations about. Great story.
    Shalom aleichem,
    Pat Garcia

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  7. Oh dear, he should have made him get out at the gate. Great story!

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  8. Ooh, great ending! Loved this piece. Wonderful story!!

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  9. Thank you all for stopping by and commenting!

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  10. I knew he shouldn't drive through that gate. Good creepy story.

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  11. Ho ho, didn't see that coming. Great job.
    Nancy

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  12. Wow, Donna, that was a surprise ending, then some. That poor driver. I felt his fear all the way. And his fears came to fruition.

    Thanks for a great Halloween tale!

    Denise :-)

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  13. Scary story, no wonder he hates night shift.

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  14. Hi Donna - something I'd definitely rather not do ... look in the mirror and see someone else ... as Denise says - his fears came to fruition ... creepy ... cheers Hilary

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  15. I'd hate the taxi night shift too with creepos. Couldn't a ghoul like that just fly there or transport himself? This one has all the Halloween factors - scary house, scary unknown identity, and creepy ending.

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  16. Again, thanks to all who stopped by and commented!

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  17. Huge congratulations on your award in the challenge. I loved your story and still think of it in dark periods.

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  18. Congratulations on your win for this story, Donna. So well-deserved!! :)

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  19. I am stunned at my Runner Up win for this little story. Thank you!!

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