Saturday, January 7, 2012

The Surprise [flash fiction]

She spit it out. "What is that?"

Jake laughed as Rachael scraped at her tongue. "Okay, so I won't make that again. Hey, you can't blame a guy for experimenting."

"Experiment out of the kitchen and in the bedroom next time," she smirked.

He carefully wiped up the mess, disposing of the leftovers in a zip-lock bag. Rachael yawned. "I don't know why I'm so sleepy now."

Must be the drugs I put into the food, Jake whispered to himself. "Go ahead and stretch out on the sofa, honey. I'll clean up."

"Okay, thanks." Rachael kicked off her shoes, laid on the sofa and pulled down chenille throw from the back. In less than 5 minutes she was sound asleep.

Jake pulled the bag out of the closet and started setting out the ominous looking tools. This was his first and he wanted everything to be perfect. Well, as perfect as his imagination would let it be. Until he had done it more than once, he really didn't know what perfect could be. Pulling on his latex gloves and looking at everything laid out on the coffee table, he smiled. Rachael was in for a big surprise! He was tired of her disrespect, tired of her putting him down at every opportunity. He had worked hard to keep her happy and satisfied. It was never enough. Now he was done!

The next morning Rachael woke with a stiff neck. What was she doing on the sofa? Where was Jake? Why did she have this strange pain on the side of her butt? She crawled off the sofa and headed towards the shower, hoping to clear out the cobwebs. As she undressed she caught sight of herself in the mirror and screamed.

Jake had tattooed his name on her ass!


My first clumsy attempt at flash gets the creative juices flowing while it helps you craft your writing skills. This is completely new to me, hoping I improve as I do this more often.


  1. I like it! Just remind me never to fall asleep around you!

  2. At first I was skeptical since I do not like reading the gory type of read, but then it ended up being really funny. Especially because Jerry and I just had a talk yesterday about how mean I have been to him lately. When I read it to him, he gave me that smirk...oh no!

    You have the knack...keep it going!

  3. What? I tattooed my name on Annie's ass. She eventually got used to it.

    The Good Luck Duck

  4. Isn't it fun? I have been doing this for years. I eventually collected some and made a book, which I published at Barnes and Noble through Pubit. I keep notes as ideas flash in my head, and some become stories.

    A nice beginning. Keep at it! One good exercise is to find a photo and just write about it. Or, select something from everyday life and give it a twist. No end to the fun!

  5. I look forward to more stories like this. It was suspenseful, as well as funny (at the end). LOL

  6. Definitely a twist I didn't expect. Bravo!

  7. You're going to take a nap???? Where is Stu?? ;)

  8. Okay, I will add that to my list of why I am still single. Great story with an ending that I was not expecting. LOL

  9. A real surprise ending--I was expecting something a bit more gorey after reading the beginning. Keep up the good work.

  10. Good job! Wish I could write something! Anything!


Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.