Saturday, April 5, 2014

#AtoZchallenge: Esquivar or Elude

Esquivar (Spanish) or Elude/Escape (English)
[source]
He stopped and rested against the tree, his breathing was labored and his legs felt like jelly.

He'd been running for what seemed like forever but still not long enough.

His back slid down the trunk of the tree until he was left squatting on his knees, he wiped away the tears he could no longer hide.

He'd tried to please them for so long but nothing was ever done fast enough, nothing was ever done good enough, nothing...

He now knew the reason why but that didn't make it any easier, in fact, it made it harder.

But that didn't matter anymore, he'd left them for good.

They'd never find him and could never hurt him again.

He pulled the tattered news clipping out of his pocket and flattened it against his thigh.

"Seeking information on my son, born in Rodriquz TX on September 1st, 2000 at Lohi Medical Center and put up for adoption due to my medical issues. Now healthy I hope to reunite and get to know him again. Please contact me...."

Another ten miles to go and he'd meet his mother for the first time.


My theme is 10x10.
A maximum of ten sentences, a minimum of 100 words.
Read my 2012 A-Z Story Book for FREE


17 comments:

  1. Thanks for stopping by our blog earlier. Love your story. The ending was not what I expected but it made the story even better.

    Sean at His and Her Hobbies

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  2. Ah the old ten by ten, nice flash really embedded the scene :)

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  3. good last line. I write drabbles also but flexible in number of sentences

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  4. Great ending. I hope that meeting his mother is everything he dreams of.

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  5. Powerful. :) I enjoyed it a lot. Will pop by again to see what you have as the month goes on. Flash pieces are always a great challenge for writer's to hone their craft. Great job.

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  6. Great excerpt, Donna. Love the image you leave us with at the end ... meeting his mother.
    Silvia @
    SilviaWrites

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  7. A compelling 10x10, especially that newspaper clipping. His emotions are shown so clearly. My heart goes out to this young boy, and doesn't the reader know there's trouble ahead! Write on!

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  8. Wow. You are really rockin' this. My heart hurt for this kid. Ten lines, and I'm already invested.

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  9. So much depth! Nicely done in just 10 lines :) Aditi, A2Z participant

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  10. Thank you everyone for all your wonderful comments. I've been trying to individually reply but find that is cutting into my time to read YOUR blogs. I hope you will keep visiting and reading!

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  11. Great cliffhanger! I'm definitely interested.

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  12. Well done, Donna. I hope his mother is what he's hoped for. :)

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  13. Great theme! I need something like that to make me write shorter more concise posts! Nice sense of movement in your writing.
    Stopping by from #atozchallenge. rosmaceachern.blogspot.com @rosmaceachern

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  14. Ooooohhhh, nice! Good punch at the end, too :)

    Thanks for the visit at Quiet Laughter :)

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  15. I am truly astounded and delighted every time I visit on the A to Z. Your flash fiction says so much in so few words. A mark of an accomplished writer. :)

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