Saturday, July 6, 2013

Flight [Five Sentence Fiction]

Flight [Five Sentence Fiction]
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As she silently slipped into her clothes, she glanced over at the sleeping body and knew this would be the last time she would ever have to look at that face, now lit eerily by the full moon outside the window.

Pulling her already packed duffel bag out of the closet, she tip-toed through the kitchen towards the back door, holding her breath and pausing briefly when the old wooden floor creaked under her shabby moccasins.

Finally she exhaled and continued her quiet journey, sighing in relief as her hand reached the door, knowing she was almost free - finally.

Then she heard it, footsteps stomping down the stairs and her heart raced with panic as she fumbled with the knob..

His voice roared from the darkness, "Davina, where the hell do you think you're going?"


Lillie McFerrin Writes




15 comments:

  1. Oh, my...this sounds intense. I would like to know more.

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    1. Thanks, Ann. Now I'm off to read the other entries. :)

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  2. I used to work with women in a marriage/relationship of violence. Statistically, when the woman tries to leave is when most homicides occur. It is so frightening helping a woman to plan that moment of leaving and terrifying knowing when she is going to go through with it. Nice write and very realistic.

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    1. Thank you, Maggie. I did some volunteer work being the on-call overnight person. I'll never forget one call I took and I always wondered if she got out and got out unscathed.

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  3. So much tension is created here and the will for her to escape the brutal relationship she is in. A fab read. xx


    This is such a heartbreaking piece. I could feel her solitude and despair. A really vivid piece of writing. xx


    http://40somethingundomesticateddevil.blogspot.co.uk/2013/07/5-sentence-fiction-flight-part-5-zoe-as.html

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    1. Thanks Lizzie, nice to see you pop in. Off to read yours!

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  4. Just run Davina. She should have hit him harder.. Be cool to know what happens next..xx

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    1. Thanks, Rosalind. Here's hoping she made it out the door... ;-)

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  5. Turn that door knob and run!!! I hope she had her cell phone in her hand with 911 dialed in. Poor thing. A true life read.

    Barbara @ www.allmylivesnow.com

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    1. Thanks, Barbara. I suspect he didn't allow her to own a cell phone. :(

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  6. I hope she was lighter on her feet than he was. How sad that there are so many people out there in abusive circumstances. An intense piece. Very powerful.

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    1. Thank you, I hoped it conveyed her fear and his arrogance.

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  7. Very original and powerful use of the prompt, Donna. Great imagery. You conveyed her desperation to flee to vividly. I hope she got that door open in time.

    http://injaynesworld.blogspot.com/2013/07/injaynesworld-its-nature-of-flight.html

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