Friday, May 4, 2012

Candy [five sentence fiction]

[source]
Wispy swirls of pink froth mixed with the honeyed smell of pure sugar caught her attention. Noticing her approach, the cotton candy vendor smiled and seemed to whisper to her alone, "Sweets for the sweet?" as he extended a cone of glistening perfection.

She smiled shyly and reached out her hand but instead of getting her treat she felt a strange vibration from his hand and heard a loud whistling sound; the whistling and vibrations increased as the carnival scene around her started to swirl, flashing neon lights mixed with pink silky strands of candy.

"Sweets for the sweet," he muttered adding the little girl sized swath of cotton candy to his stash of pink confections. "Hmmm, I think I need more blue," he turned to smile at a little boy headed his way.


15 comments:

  1. Excellent piece of flash fiction, Donna :) I'm sure children's dentists would approve of your cautionary tale!

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  2. Great job Donna! Love the visual I got when reading this short piece.

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  3. So well written with a wonderful out of the blue twist!! Could see and smell the cotton candy as I was reading too.

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  4. Okay, I'm officially creeped out! Well done!

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  5. I agree with TX Yellow Rose - a wee bit creepy!

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  6. @Catherine: LOL! Never thought about that. [giggle]

    @Christina: Thanks, Christina. Flash is really helping me tune my writing.

    @Jo-Anne: I really started with a sweet memoir but then it twisted when I found the cotton candy photo.

    @Betty [Texas Yellow Rose] & @Jaye: That was the intent...glad I succeeded.

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  7. Oooh! I agree with the folks above, Very creepy. Great job!

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  8. Hi Beth & Tracie, thanks for stopping in and commenting. It was meant to be creepy...glad it worked. LOL!

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  9. Totally brilliant idea! And went well with the photo. Rally well done.

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  10. Thanks Sandra...this was the third photo. It changed as the story evolved....LOL!

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  11. Very creepy -- and imaginative!

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  12. Love the evil intent creeping into something so innocent!

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  13. Thanks Lisa...it sort of wrote itself. ;-)

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